A Little This, A Little That

For the past five weeks, Ann and I have been “camping” out in our home while our kitchen was being remodeled.  Using paper plates and plastic utensils is fine and fun for awhile (no dishes to clean—although I would routinely rinse them and reuse them, appealing to my thrifty self), it became tiring.  Having to buy lunches or dinners or eat frozen TV dinners also became tiring as well.  

So it was with great relief and gladness to realize that the remodel is finished and we can begin to live/eat normally once again.  Yesterday, the appliances were installed and the kitchen was inspected.   It is great to have a brand new refrigerator and dishwasher, and to have the use of our beautiful O’Keefe and Merritt range/stove again.  Ann cooked some sausage and eggs yesterday for breakfast.  Yummm!!! 

Today I spent time placing stuff in our spiffy new cabinets.  We still need some shelves for one of the new cabinets which will allow us to place the rest of our food in it, which will then give us an idea as to how much of our rarely used stuff (i.e., Japanese dishes) can be placed up high in some of the cabinets.  By the weekend, everything should be finished in the kitchen, furniture in the living and dining rooms put back where they were, and the old refrigerator that has been in the living room placed as a backup in the garage.

I love the look and am particularly proud of the tile backsplash since I designed it. I really like the look of the booth we had made.

Otherwise, last week Ann and I had the blessing of being able to attend BJ’s Rehab facility for a nice dinner.  It is still wondrous to me to see the light in his eyes, in his face, and to hear about his journey.  What was special about the night was that Ann felt comfortable to share with him aspects of her emotional journey that she is on.  There was deep connection, and BJ was pretty overwhelmed (positively) by Ann’s vulnerability and realness.  

Because the three of us are in our own transitions, and are in psychological healing “mode,” we talk the same language which lends itself to incredible clarity, connection, and communication.   I must say that being a part of this experience was special and indeed memorable.

Another Tender Mercy

My father had a heart attack in 1953. My mother had cancer of the colon in 1959. My father developed diabetes along with emphysema in his 60s (from smoking, probably, and had a lung removed), and my mother had a heart attack in her 60s. Their illnesses are my legacy and are very much on my mind (and on the mind of my kids as well).

This morning I had my third colonoscopy.  Even though the doctor discovered some benign polyps three years ago during the second procedure, he gratefully found nothing today. I am taking meds for my Type 1 diabetes and cholesterol in an effort to lengthen my life, and feel greatly blessed that we have great insurance that allows me to take meds and have such procedures done.  I think of all of the people in the world—even some whom I know—that cannot afford such meds and procedures, and I feel great gratitude.

I am attempting to take care of my body and mind.  They are a stewardship given to me by a loving Father.  I am appreciative of the efforts of my wife to take care of her body and mind.  She is a great example for me in that regard. 

    

I do not always do it, but almost every day I thank God for allowing me to live another day, to experience life, to enjoy my senses, to help others, to feel the love of others.  Perhaps it is because of my age (I certainly have not always felt such feelings of gratitude) or because I see others around me struggle with illnesses and accidents, but I am richly blessed. I want to live as long as I can because there is so much more to life that I want to experience through my senses, to learn and understand, to feel.

Switzerland

Singing Praises

The Cathedral of Los Angeles

In an earlier posting, I wrote of my desire to return to singing, and more pointedly, singing in the Southern California Mormon Choir.  That is still an intention because I run a recovery group that meets on the same night as the rehearsals.  However, I was able to attend 1 1/2 rehearsals recently, and the Choir was rehearsing for a performance to be held in the Our Lady of Los Angeles Cathedral in Los Angeles on February 10th.  

I was invited to sing with the SCMC and a couple of dozen other church choirs in that performance.  And so I did!  I was one of about 110 bases and a total of about 600 singers that sang a couple of dozen songs--no LDS hymns at all.

I very much enjoyed the experience on a number of levels.  First, it was fun to sing again professionally and to sing next to my fellow SCMC bass partner, Dr. Lynn McEwan, and sing some low "drop-through-the-floor" bass notes.  Secondly, it was thrilling to sing with such a large chorus of fairly competent singers.  Thirdly, I enjoyed singing to Ann and friend Annette Hammer in the audience.  Fourthly, and perhaps most memorably, I enjoyed singing praises to God.  

I have recognized that other churches always talk and sing about praising God.  I would like for our Church to be more in a "praise" mode, frankly.  As I was singing, I thought of how when the Savior was born in Bethlehem the angels sang in praise of the newborn Child.  I felt that the songs that we were singing likewise praised and pleased God, and that even though Catholics were singing alongside Protestants who were singing alongside Mormons, we were united in our worship of the same God.  It felt right, and it felt good. :) 

The Intersection of Doing & Being

Knowing that some who read my blog do not share my religious beliefs can occasionally present a challenge to me in writing in this forum.  I am a deeply religious man but I attempt to be careful not to impose my beliefs and values on those not of my faith or who may not believe in a Supreme Being.  My religiosity is part of who I am, however, and colors my beliefs and values, and as such what I write about sometimes has religious implications.  I believe there is an overall existential application for the issue I will treat and hope that reading about it will be worthwhile.

As I have more closely been observing politicians in recent years, I have come to the conclusion that many are hypocrites.  Hypocrisy is defined as “a pretense of having virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, etc., that one does not really possess.”  Another definition is “a pretense of having some desirable or publicly approved attitude.”  The word comes from the Greek hypokrisis, meaning “play acting.”

To my thinking, politicians do a lot of “play acting” and will often say or do things out of expediency to get or stay elected.  It is all a sham.  Their words and actions would have us believe they possess a virtue, a belief, a principle, when in reality they do not.  In other words, in my view, their doing is not congruent with who they really are—their being. 

Harry Reid, a Mormon

It is easy to point a finger at such easy examples/targets, but as the old adage goes, when we point a finger at someone, there are three pointing back at us.  I must ask myself, “are my words and actions—the do part of me--congruent with who I am—the be part of me?”  Or am I also a hypocrite, trying to show some “desirable or publicly approved attitude," whether that public be outside or inside the walls of my home?  And while I introspect, am I congruent when I'm alone?

I believe there is another layer to peel of the do vs. be onion.  If I am not a blatant hypocrite (most of the time), do I fool myself into thinking that simply by doing things that I suppose are good, I am good?      As I try to do good, am I becoming good?

 

Many of us are great at preparing “to do” lists to help us accomplish so much.  How much more difficult is it to prepare a “to be” list?  We like to check off items on our “to do” list.  “To be” lists are trickier and never finished.  I can take Ann out for dinner this Friday, a “to do” that I can remove from the list.  But being a good husband is not a singular event; it needs to be part of who I am.

For me, this discussion has religious implications. I have friends who are not members of my Church who wholeheartedly espouse the doctrine of grace.  They will proverbially point a finger at LDS Church doctrine, accusing us/me of trying to do my way to heaven rather than being saved by grace.  I will admit that on one level they are right to point this out.  We Mormons are all about works. Look at our local and worldwide humanitarian efforts, our weekly institutional and personal devotions, our charitable donations, our efforts to collect and provide genealogical records to the world.  We are probably the most doing Church organization out there, speaking both individually and institutionally.

Mormons Doing Good

 

We sometimes think that if we do enough (and feel guilty/are made to feel guilty when we don’t), God will at length accept all of our doings and admit us into heaven.

Sadly, many sermons uttered at our pulpits seem to focus on doing and few on becoming.  If we are not doing all of the many actions expected of Latter-day Saints, we are essentially told over the pulpit and in lessons to “buck up” and get going, not necessarily taking into consideration the context of our lives nor how we may be becoming in our own ways.  Sermons aand lessons need to also focus on what Christ-like attributes can be developed as we do the many behaviors, the keeping of the commandments, and to recognize that these attributes can sometimes be developed in other ways.  

In two important canons of LDS scripture, the Bible and the Book of Mormon, Mormons believe that Jesus said, “be ye therefore perfect, even as [I or] (Book of Mormon) your Father which is in Heaven is perfect.”  (Matthew 5:48, 3 Nephi 12:48) Italics added.  Christ did not say “do ye therefore perfect”…, he said, “be ye therefore perfect….”   I would posit that the doing that we as members of the LDS Church must be coupled with becoming.  Our actions are not the end but the means to the end of becoming.  It is incumbent upon me and my fellow Saints to not delude ourselves into thinking that keeping the commandments is the end.

One of my favorite scriptures is found in the Book of Mormon is found in Mosiah 3:19.  It reads:

“For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ, and becometh as a little child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father. (Italics added)

Another favorite scripture is also found in the Book of Mormon in Moroni 7:48:

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which He hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons [and daughters] of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like Him, for we shall see him as He is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as He is pure. Amen.”

(Italics added)

Having stated this, I will take issue with my ‘saved-by-grace-and-not-by-works” non-LDS brothers and sisters.  If we as members of the LDS Church are so engaged in doing, and as such are becoming, then hopefully we are gradually becoming like Jesus.  That is a big if, but being “anxiously engaged” is a good thing if it leads me to developing Christ-like attributes of love, caring, kindness, long-suffering, gentleness, meekness.

Doing without being portrays a false image to others, while being without doing portrays a false image to ourselves.

The Savior was all about works, ministering, blessing, lifting, teaching, loving those around Him.  He is the perfect example of the intersection of being and doing.  I want to do and become like Him.