The Intersection of Doing & Being

Knowing that some who read my blog do not share my religious beliefs can occasionally present a challenge to me in writing in this forum.  I am a deeply religious man but I attempt to be careful not to impose my beliefs and values on those not of my faith or who may not believe in a Supreme Being.  My religiosity is part of who I am, however, and colors my beliefs and values, and as such what I write about sometimes has religious implications.  I believe there is an overall existential application for the issue I will treat and hope that reading about it will be worthwhile.

As I have more closely been observing politicians in recent years, I have come to the conclusion that many are hypocrites.  Hypocrisy is defined as “a pretense of having virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, etc., that one does not really possess.”  Another definition is “a pretense of having some desirable or publicly approved attitude.”  The word comes from the Greek hypokrisis, meaning “play acting.”

To my thinking, politicians do a lot of “play acting” and will often say or do things out of expediency to get or stay elected.  It is all a sham.  Their words and actions would have us believe they possess a virtue, a belief, a principle, when in reality they do not.  In other words, in my view, their doing is not congruent with who they really are—their being. 

Harry Reid, a Mormon

It is easy to point a finger at such easy examples/targets, but as the old adage goes, when we point a finger at someone, there are three pointing back at us.  I must ask myself, “are my words and actions—the do part of me--congruent with who I am—the be part of me?”  Or am I also a hypocrite, trying to show some “desirable or publicly approved attitude," whether that public be outside or inside the walls of my home?  And while I introspect, am I congruent when I'm alone?

I believe there is another layer to peel of the do vs. be onion.  If I am not a blatant hypocrite (most of the time), do I fool myself into thinking that simply by doing things that I suppose are good, I am good?      As I try to do good, am I becoming good?

 

Many of us are great at preparing “to do” lists to help us accomplish so much.  How much more difficult is it to prepare a “to be” list?  We like to check off items on our “to do” list.  “To be” lists are trickier and never finished.  I can take Ann out for dinner this Friday, a “to do” that I can remove from the list.  But being a good husband is not a singular event; it needs to be part of who I am.

For me, this discussion has religious implications. I have friends who are not members of my Church who wholeheartedly espouse the doctrine of grace.  They will proverbially point a finger at LDS Church doctrine, accusing us/me of trying to do my way to heaven rather than being saved by grace.  I will admit that on one level they are right to point this out.  We Mormons are all about works. Look at our local and worldwide humanitarian efforts, our weekly institutional and personal devotions, our charitable donations, our efforts to collect and provide genealogical records to the world.  We are probably the most doing Church organization out there, speaking both individually and institutionally.

Mormons Doing Good

 

We sometimes think that if we do enough (and feel guilty/are made to feel guilty when we don’t), God will at length accept all of our doings and admit us into heaven.

Sadly, many sermons uttered at our pulpits seem to focus on doing and few on becoming.  If we are not doing all of the many actions expected of Latter-day Saints, we are essentially told over the pulpit and in lessons to “buck up” and get going, not necessarily taking into consideration the context of our lives nor how we may be becoming in our own ways.  Sermons aand lessons need to also focus on what Christ-like attributes can be developed as we do the many behaviors, the keeping of the commandments, and to recognize that these attributes can sometimes be developed in other ways.  

In two important canons of LDS scripture, the Bible and the Book of Mormon, Mormons believe that Jesus said, “be ye therefore perfect, even as [I or] (Book of Mormon) your Father which is in Heaven is perfect.”  (Matthew 5:48, 3 Nephi 12:48) Italics added.  Christ did not say “do ye therefore perfect”…, he said, “be ye therefore perfect….”   I would posit that the doing that we as members of the LDS Church must be coupled with becoming.  Our actions are not the end but the means to the end of becoming.  It is incumbent upon me and my fellow Saints to not delude ourselves into thinking that keeping the commandments is the end.

One of my favorite scriptures is found in the Book of Mormon is found in Mosiah 3:19.  It reads:

“For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ, and becometh as a little child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father. (Italics added)

Another favorite scripture is also found in the Book of Mormon in Moroni 7:48:

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which He hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons [and daughters] of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like Him, for we shall see him as He is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as He is pure. Amen.”

(Italics added)

Having stated this, I will take issue with my ‘saved-by-grace-and-not-by-works” non-LDS brothers and sisters.  If we as members of the LDS Church are so engaged in doing, and as such are becoming, then hopefully we are gradually becoming like Jesus.  That is a big if, but being “anxiously engaged” is a good thing if it leads me to developing Christ-like attributes of love, caring, kindness, long-suffering, gentleness, meekness.

Doing without being portrays a false image to others, while being without doing portrays a false image to ourselves.

The Savior was all about works, ministering, blessing, lifting, teaching, loving those around Him.  He is the perfect example of the intersection of being and doing.  I want to do and become like Him.

A New Commandment I Give Unto You, That Ye Love One Another As I Have Loved You

I am a lifelong member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a Christian denomination (even though some of my evangelical brothers and sisters don’t believe that) that is also known as the Mormon Church.  It is a worldwide religion of over 14 million believers (including Mitt Romney and Jon Huntsman among others) whose primary leadership is based in Salt Lake City, Utah.  Rather than being a casual member, I attend meetings weekly, perform private worship during the week, and serve in callings or perform responsibilities each week as part of my desire to perform Christian service.   I earnestly believe in the doctrines of the Church and sincerely feel that I not only worship but want to obediently follow the beings I call my Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.   In this blog entry I will not discuss a wide array of doctrinal beliefs or theology of my Church but rather I will focus on what I see as a disconnect that occurs between what our religions teach us to do with what those religious beliefs should help us become.

In the Christian faith community, the pulpits are ablaze with sermons about God’s grace and His love for his children.  Those that preach proclaim that Christ’s teachings are about taking upon ourselves His attributes, such as being imbued with kindness, love, caring, gratitude, and thoughtfulness, and casting aside un-Christian characteristics like judging, coveting, and sexual impurity.  Indeed, in the congregations of my Church, we are told in word and song that “by this shall all men know ye are my disciples if ye have love one to another.”

However, in my Church and in all churches, synagogues and mosques, there is always the challenge of “living” our religious beliefs between those days when we are sitting in the pews or kneeling on the floor, and the rest of the days of the week.  True believers realize that they want to live righteous lives and their challenge is to make their lives congruent with the teachings they receive on their day of worship.  I would like to think that most do a pretty good job of it.  But it seems to me that sometimes a few of we believers lose sight of that congruency and get caught up in our own piety and what we would suppose to be the purity of where we worship, or in the notion of strictness of our doctrines.  We sometimes lose sight of the fact that our doctrinal beliefs were given to help us to not only do better but to also be better.

For example, how do we respond when someone ventures into our religious buildings that does not fit the stereotypical appearance of who we piously think should be there?  Or when, having attended for a period of time, a person is discovered to have something done something “wrong?”   Or more critically, when someone we know as an acquaintance, friend, or even a family member, is discovered to be engaged in some activity that may be contrary to doctrines espoused by us and our religions?

Because of our fears of being contaminated personally, or our homes or religious building being desecrated, or our desiring to keep our homes or families or congregations or religions pure, do we lose sight of what the religious teachings are trying to help us become, and shun the individual?  Out of that fear, do we do what our natural, non-religious selves demand that we do, and that is to judge him or her (or them)?  Do we understand so little of our underlying doctrines?  Are we so insecure in our religious beliefs?  Are our religions merely about purity?

A lay member of my faith was asked to speak at one of my religion’s important meetings, and although it was a few years ago, the words he uttered still haunt me.  He said, and I am paraphrasing, “for me, the sweetest smell I can smell in these meetings is the smell of cigarette smoke on someone’s clothing.”  For anybody who does not know, to be a completely faithful member of my Church, allowed to participate in all its worshipping rituals, you cannot smoke (or drink coffee, tea, or alcohol.)  Obviously, someone who smells of cigarette or cigar smoke would likely be judged as not being completely faithful.  What do I do with this apparent paradox?  Do I distance myself by not interacting with him or her at all?  Do I take this person aside and tell them that they smell and that they need to do something about their problem?  Do I tell them that they just need to try harder not to smoke, or maybe pray more diligently?  Do I talk to other congregants about how bad this person smells?  Do I go to Church leaders and tell them this person reeks of smoke? 

In my belief system, I must ask myself “what would Jesus do with or say to this individual?”  Does He love them any less because they smoke?

The speaker then said something else in the same sermon that likewise haunts me.  Again, paraphrasing, he said, “if all of our sins had a smell, what would you and I smell like?”

I understand that refraining from such substances is unique to just a few religions, so I would like to bring up a more universal “prickly” issue that many faith communities are wrestling with: same sex attraction.  My intent is not to bring up the issue of the correctness or incorrectness of SSA or so-called gay marriage, although I have opinions about them.  What I wish to address is how we as straight people in faith communities respond to these fellow travelers in mortality, these souls who I have been taught are my spiritual brothers and sisters, as all people are.  What do I do when they exercise great courage and risk by daring to darken the doors of our religious buildings, knowing that they might be judged and/or shunned.  Or even more difficult, what do I do when one of these sensitive individuals is my friend, my uncle or aunt or cousin, or my parent, or my child?

Do we go to our pious place and declare that they are flawed (which by making that judgment we infer that we are not, and as such are better than they are)?  Do we judge them as evil or wicked and that they are surely going to go to hell or wherever or whatever our purgatory is (which distances us from them)?  Do we tell fellow congregants that they are gay or lesbian or even transgender (as if we are morally superior to them)?  Do we consider them so sinful that they are not worthy of our love, and in my case, my Christian love (because sexual sin is regarded as being so heinous)?  Do we preach to them and tell them that if they were really spiritual the attraction would simply go away (as if that may not have crossed their minds at one time)?  Do we bring out our particular scriptures and lecture them on the scriptural evils of being attracted to someone of the same gender (because we feel that it is our responsibility to set them straight)?  Do we just avoid them and have nothing to do with them because they make us feel uncomfortable (because dealing with people different from us makes us uncomfortable)?  Do we tell them to leave our homes and that we never want to speak to them again (because they are a disgrace and embarrassment—they make us look bad---and are not deserving of our love)?

Are we so insecure about who we are and what we believe that we have to put someone down or distance ourselves from them because they are different?  Are we so oblivious to what really matters—like being kind and gentle as little children?  (Have you ever noticed how easily young children play with other young children no matter their gender, size, race, color, religion, or smell?  Those are adult constructs.)  Are we so threatened by others’ lifestyles that we cannot look past them to find out who they really are?  Are we who are Christian so caught up in the Mosaic Law-type, letter-of-the-law piety and hypocrisy as the Pharisees were that we do not see His higher law of a broken heart and a contrite spirit, and of loving our neighbors as ourselves?   

My hope is that when people who are “different” from us live with us, work with us, and come to our places of worship with us, we can begin the transition to forget about appearances, we can begin the transition to get past our pre-conceived stereotypes, we can begin the transition to get to know who they are in their souls, and we can begin the transition to come to care for them like we would like to be cared for.

This blog post is dedicated to two men, one whom I know very well and love as a brother who has a gay son whom he loves and adores and is a true example of Christ-like love to him, and the other a person whom I have never met but hope to meet at some future day.  His name is Mitch Mayne, and he is currently serving as the Executive Secretary of the San Francisco Bay Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and who happens to be openly gay.  He is a fellow blogger at mitchmayne.blogspot.com.