Ho Ho Ho....Wahhhhhhhh!

Well, it’s the 24^th of December and I have a house full of babies—one 3 year old and three one-year olds.  I get to experience Christmas morning once again through young children’s eyes.  All the presents are bought and wrapped and tucked under the tree—protected by a white board wedged between a love seat and a sofa, as to protect the gifts from being opened.

When the triplets are awake, it’s only a matter of minutes before one is crying or screaming, a constant din of noise and activity.  When they are napping or sleeping, “all is calm, all is bright.”  My daughter Emily and son-in-law Adam do an AMAZING job managing them, keeping their wits and letting most things just slide.  But it is apparent that they need help, and Ann and I are trying to do what we can; after all, that is why we they are here.

Having so much activity and stress in the home, it does bring out the best and worst in an adult trying to manage the chaos.  The challenge is to be patient and loving—and to realize that nearly all of the drama is just that…and nothing to get worked up about.  These kids are wonderful, each with their own personalities and temperaments, a testimony to the reality of a pre-earth existence and the concept of nature, in the nature vs. nurture debate.  Emily and Adam treat the kids very equally, so what I am seeing is nature.

So it’s just about time to strap the four kids into the their car seats in our two cars and head south to San Pedro.  The rehab where BJ lives is putting on a program and we want to provide him the chance to see family when the opportunity arises.  It will be a memorable Christmas Eve.  I am grateful to have family.  

My Posterity Together

Rebecca is my firstborn.  Energetic, opinionated, fun, articulate, caring, musical and driven are some adjectives to describe her.  She was born before our one year anniversary so she has always been present.  She was with us when we moved to Japan and her red hair and outgoing personality opened doors there and back in the States. Her penchant for looking for attention and reciprocal caring from boys has always been a part of who she is and what she wants.  When Rebecca wants to do something, she does it, displaying tremendous courage and tenacity, especially in regard to her schooling.  Those traits also serve her well as she endeavors to be a great single mom. Through thick and thin, she and I have had a close father-daughter relationship, and I care about her deeply and know she cares for me.

Emily is my second born.  Caring, intelligent, empathetic, dutiful, driven, clever and demanding are some adjectives to describe her. Giving birth in the States was a big reason for leaving Japan.  Her siblings have always been important to her and she has always tried to maintain the peace.  Emily has been constant in her life choices. She fell deeply in love with her husband Adam and in their time together they have managed to survive against great odds.  She along with Adam have exercised great faith, especially as they have dealt with the challenges of raising their daughter Elizabeth and the triplets Charley, Eddie and Lucy.  I am very proud of her and how she has managed to maintain that faith in incredibly difficult circumstances.  I am appreciative of her constancy.  I feel her love.

Robert is my third born.  Intuitive, caring, smart, dutiful, energetic, musical and playful are some adjectives to describe him.  I called him BJ (Bob Jr.) when he was born and while he prefers to be called Robert, most of his siblings and his mother and I call him BJ.  He is an incredibly intelligent kid who has struggled to find his path.  He is making great progress now in figuring out his life and I am hopeful for his future.  BJ really cares deeply about people and I am confident that that trait will serve him well as he eventually begins a family and in a people-related career that he no doubt will embrace.  And while he has had issues with his siblings at various times, he does care for them deeply and understands the importance of family.  I am proud that he bears my name, and know he cares for me.

Doug is my last born.  Intelligent, clever, dutiful, determined, “punny,” opinionated and careful are some adjectives that describe him.  He was quite a clown as a young boy. He followed my musical footsteps in high school.  He would tell us as he was growing up that he was going to be the wealthiest of the kids and was going to take care of us, his parents.  I don’t know if that will happen because he has followed me into the psychological profession, but I am proud of him graduating from college and how seriously he is taking his parental responsibilities.  It is interesting how like many children he went through a phase of being aghast at my puns, and now takes pride at coming up with them himself, and looks to me to validate his clever wordplay.  I believe he is proud of me, and I am of him.

I am very blessed to have such great kids.  I will further be blessed with an increasingly rare opportunity to have all of them, plus Emily’s Adam, plus Rebecca’s son Isaac, Douglas’ son Daniel, and Emily and Adam’s wonderful Elizabeth and the triplets, all under my blessed roof this Saturday during this Christmas season.  All I can say is “Wooooo hoooooo!!!”  

Of Winds and Roots

Tipped Over Tree in Recent Santa Ana Winds

When I first found out 36 years ago about the tall girl in Apartment 7, I came to know that she and her sister were from a place in Southern California called Santa Ana.  That wasn’t where they really were from; they were from a town next to Santa Ana called Tustin.  But I became acquainted with the name of the town.

When that tall girl and I moved to California in 1994 as husband and wife, she introduced me to the phenomena known as the “Santa Anas.”  To those who have never lived here or do not know about western US weather patterns, whenever a high pressure system forms over Utah, or very close to Utah, winds rotate in a clockwise pattern and blow from the Beehive State westward toward California, particularly Southern California.  In the late spring to the summer to the early fall, those winds can become gusty and are quite warm or hot as they blow over the heat of the deserts of Nevada and Arizona.  They can also blow in the winter, albeit without warmth.

Just recently, an unusually strong, cold Santa Ana blew in the Los Angeles area where I live, particularly from Pasadena eastward.  The results were many:  Ann’s community college where she teaches closed as did all of the K-12 schools in the area, people were encouraged to stay off the streets because of tree damage, electric lines fell causing wide spread outages, semi-trailers were blown over, and many, many trees lost limbs, or palm fronds, or were entirely blown over.

The governmental clean up agencies went to work quickly to make sure main roads including freeways were not obstructed.  Many days later, side streets were still littered with mounds of foliage remnants, and some folks still did not have electricity.  And some trees, many of them quite tall and veterans of other Santa Ana winds, lay horizontally, their proud limbs contorted or broken and roots now exposed for all to see.

How is it that a proud pine or a stately sycamore or a princely palm can be blown over?  What allows a tree to “weather” storms and winds and stay upright?  The trees that were blown over last week for the most part had shallow root systems caused by frequent watering.  Oft applied water meant they did not have to send their roots deep into the ground.  Their shallow root systems sufficiently anchored them, especially here in Southern California where weather is quite mild most of the time.  But when this particularly strong Santa Ana blew, the roots failed some them, and they fell crashing to the earth.

I see a metaphor in what happened for me in my life.  Am I a strong tree that people around me can rely upon and that can offer shade, beauty, and consistency to them?  Or do I become complacent because of the relative ease of my life?  Knowing that I have control over my “root system,” am I making an effort to send my roots deep into the soil of my wife and family, my religion, my friends and other important relationships—that dirt which is deep and which can anchor one’s life?  Am I investing enough energy into my roots each day so that when emotionally and spiritually challenging “storms” appear, I remain emotionally strong?  And when a hurricane-like Santa Ana wind of adversity and trial appear, are my relationship roots deep enough to keep me upright?

I’m glad that I saw this example of nature.  I am, after all, responsible for my” tree” and for its” roots.”