59

I’m coming up on my 59^th birthday.  That’s one away from 60.  I used to think 60 was getting old, but I certainly don’t feel old, except sometimes in the morning when my inactive lower back lets me know it’s there.  I think it’s that I don’t feel mentally or emotionally old—maybe more experienced than those around me who are younger—but not old.

I think my thoughts about my age and aging are influenced by memories of my mother and father.  When my Dad and Mom were 59, I was attending BYU, freshly returned from my proselyting mission for the LDS Church to Argentina.  They seemed tired with low energy, content to sit on the front porch of the house and watch the cars go by on 8^th West. 

In contrast, when my siblings were 59, they were active, traveling places, going to grand children's athletic events and school events, working in their yards and at the Cabin in Emigration Canyon and at Bear Lake.  My siblings and their spouses have their aches and pains, but they stay active, even now in their 70s. 

 

I mentioned to someone recently that I occasionally marvel that I am as old as I am and that I sometimes wonder if my maturity level is that of a teenager, or younger!  I see a 20-something, and realize that I am 30 years or so older than them—I could be their parent, almost a grandparent.  Yikes!  But then, I like being around young folks because they energize me.

I do feel 59 as I consider how long I have been working.  My first job was as a caretaker of a park at the age of 14, picking up trash, cleaning restrooms, chalking ball diamonds.  A year later, I was living with my brother in Indianapolis cutting grass at an industrial park near his work.  For the next few summers, I worked on a survey crew, a checker in a supermarket, and a freight unloader at a trucking company.  I have worked non-stop since age14, and frankly, I am a tired of working, although I must say that being a psychotherapist invigorates me.

This is a transitional time as my wife and I plan for retirement.  She plans on working until she has 20 years completed at her work and she is over half way done  Having completed those years, she will receive a nice retirement.  I am busy making yearly contributions to my 401k, partly putting away money for retirement and partly keeping it away from Uncle Sam.  Theoretically, between the two of us and what little if any Social Security money comes in, we should have a fairly comfortable retirement.  – But frankly, it’s feels kind of bizarre to be planning for retirement; that’s what “old people” do.

So Happy Birthday to me, you old redhead, you!  I’m grateful to be alive, healthy, and happy!

Another Tender Mercy

My father had a heart attack in 1953. My mother had cancer of the colon in 1959. My father developed diabetes along with emphysema in his 60s (from smoking, probably, and had a lung removed), and my mother had a heart attack in her 60s. Their illnesses are my legacy and are very much on my mind (and on the mind of my kids as well).

This morning I had my third colonoscopy.  Even though the doctor discovered some benign polyps three years ago during the second procedure, he gratefully found nothing today. I am taking meds for my Type 1 diabetes and cholesterol in an effort to lengthen my life, and feel greatly blessed that we have great insurance that allows me to take meds and have such procedures done.  I think of all of the people in the world—even some whom I know—that cannot afford such meds and procedures, and I feel great gratitude.

I am attempting to take care of my body and mind.  They are a stewardship given to me by a loving Father.  I am appreciative of the efforts of my wife to take care of her body and mind.  She is a great example for me in that regard. 

    

I do not always do it, but almost every day I thank God for allowing me to live another day, to experience life, to enjoy my senses, to help others, to feel the love of others.  Perhaps it is because of my age (I certainly have not always felt such feelings of gratitude) or because I see others around me struggle with illnesses and accidents, but I am richly blessed. I want to live as long as I can because there is so much more to life that I want to experience through my senses, to learn and understand, to feel.

Switzerland