In my desire to understand the LDS LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) population. and out of desire to learn more about these people so that I might be able to render much needed and almost unavailable psychotherapeutic help, I decided to attend the Conference. I came not knowing a soul (at least I didn't think I did until I met one mother of a gay in my Stake), but left having made some new acquaintances and friends. I better understand the challenges that this troubled population faces. I think I know a little better how to help. Perhaps most importantly, I have greater empathy for these wonderfully loving people.
The purpose of the Conference has been for 20+ years to affirm the faith of the LDS LGBT community in the Church whose members have largely been critical of them. I learned that Affirmation is a international group offering emotional support to this community regardless of whether they still attend services, have felt unsafe to attend and have stopped attending, or are wondering what course to take. I learned that many of those that attend have deep emotional attachments to the Church, but more importantly, deep emotional attachments to God. And although no two paths are the same, many feel peace with who they are and the path on which they find themselves.
I listened intently as different people related their difficult stories. I listened to a man married for over 20 years with children who divorced, and then came out as gay, and has been out for seven challenging years. I listened to a Latino young man who felt the need to move from Salt Lake City to a more gay-friendly area (Seattle, Washington). I listened to a man who marched in the SLC Gay Pride Parade and felt it was one of the most wonderful experiences of his life, especially as he heard the crowd roar and cheer all along the route. I listened to a woman who does not feel safe coming completely out of the closet for the fear of the response from her very active LDS family.
I listened to a man who was kicked out of his home when he came out as gay. I listened to the love that another man feels for his partner. I listened to the depressed words of an older man who has been overwhelmed by the rejection of members of his local congregation and some Church leadership. I listened to a woman who has been blessed with an understanding bishop and stake president and who has been given a calling even though they know of her status. I listened to a young man from Mexico who has sought to understand scripture in an effort to appreciate more fully God's love for him. I listened to a person who is transgendered and is trying to find her way away from her male past.
I listened to a woman who tried to fall in love with a man but ultimately couldn't. I listened to an articulate man who bore strong testimony of the Church that he feels unsafe to attend. I listened to a transgender person speak about her work at a non-profit civil rights group and who would like to start her own non-profit to help those who follow her incredibly challenging transition from married father to woman. I listened to a older man that came out a few years ago and who recently lost his job and is striving to maintain a relationship with a boy on a mission but whose daughters have rejected him.
These are just some of the stories that I listened to. I could go on for much longer. These people freely shared with non-LGBT people like me because they knew that I would not judge them, that I was safe, that I would be open and accepting of who they are. I found them to be very appreciative of my safe status as an LGBT Ally. I am grateful for what I have learned, but more importantly, for what I have felt. This was an experience never to be forgotten.
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