My Favorite Time of Year!

In my home growing up, there always were a set of four pictures on some wall.  The four were often in some hallway, and they were of the four seasons from one perspective.  In other words, some artist had painted folksy scenes of one panorama of rural life, with a stone bridge that spanned a stream, a prominent fruit-bearing tree, a church in the background, and trees and hills in the foreground and background.  The same view was what might have taken place from this same early 20^th century vantage point in the spring, summer, fall, and winter seasons.

I always liked it, and when Mom and Dad passed away, I made sure that I got these four pictures.  Today, they are prominently placed in my home, and they hark back to simpler, gentler times in my life and in the world in general.  Of all of the views, however, my favorite is of the fall.  Maybe it is because autumn is my favorite time of year. 

In fall, the heat of the summer is ebbing yet the temperatures for the most part can still be moderate and not too cold.  A frost often appears, and with it, the deciduous trees begin their yearly ritual of shedding their leaves.  Before they fall, however, nature puts on some of its prettiest colors.  Depending on the type of tree, some leaves merely lose their greenness and turn a pale, dirty brown while the leaves of others offer many different and splendid shades of red, yellow and gold.  

For me, I remember different fall seasons in my life.  I remember raking leaves into a pile only to jump into them and rake them up again.  I remember cheering myself hoarse at football games.  I remember trick or treating at Halloween.   I remember making Thanksgiving boxes for my kids to write what they and I were grateful for.  I remember not the not-quite-cooked turkey of our first Thanksgiving.  I remember picking berries off of pyracantha bushes and throwing them into holes or garbage cans or under cars (or at my wife’s back on our walks!).  I remember the smells of Halloween and Thanksgiving.

It is a time of kids returning to school, of football games on Friday night or Saturdays, of preparing to put away summer items like boats and picnic tables, of getting out the warm weather clothing and putting away the short sleeves and shorts (except if you live in Southern California), of making plans for the coming holiday season, and in the end, of taking stock of what needs to be done to make the transition from the busyness of summer to the slowing down of fall and the eventual housebound season of winter.

As each year begins winding down to its close, I usually reflect on what has happened during the previous months.  I consider the changes that have transpired, such as in the housing of family members.  I reflect on the year’s accomplishments and disappointments, and wonderful times of vacation and nature excursions.  I mull over how I have changed and how others around me have changed as well.  I think about changes that have occurred and are in the process of occurring in the social, economic, and political worlds at home and abroad.  I begin to wonder about the inevitability of winter and cold and Christmas shopping.

Of course, people who read my blog regularly will know that I tend to look at deeper meanings in things, even to metaphors—those occurrences in life that have nothing to do with a set of circumstances or a given situation, but to which comparisons of some sort can be made.

In keeping with my tendency, I see the seasons as a metaphor for “seasons” of one’s life.  When life is new, in our childhood and young adult years, temperatures (and hormones) are warming up.  Life is new, colorful, exciting, and can be idyllic.  It is a time of little responsibility, of lots of fun, of curiosity and discovery, and usually, of falling in love and finding a partner.  Life’s possibilities seem endless and it is time for idealism.  We, like the trees and flowers, are blooming and showing the world who we are.  It is our Spring.

When that “season” ends, the temperatures turn decidedly warmer, even becoming hot.  Summer is here.  We are in relationships now, children may have come our way, and the heat of responsibility beats down upon us.  We have bloomed and are in full flower in our families, our careers, our abilities to make money, our physical bodies.  We likely have a mortgage, maybe a student loan, a car payment, and all of the other adult bills that we incur as we take on responsibility.  Illnesses and childbirths and accidents all bring a certain “heat” to our lives.  Arguably, it is the optimal time to accomplish things because we have vitality and energy and enthusiasm for life.  And we need those attributes because most of us have children who are now engaged in their own spring times.

Soon, however, while the temperatures are still warm, there are occasional mornings of coolness.  As I am wont to say, there can seem to be a “nip” in the air at this autumnal time of year.  Our physical bodies have endured the heat of our summers and are starting to show signs of a transitional time.  We are not quite so energetic, brought painfully to mind whenever we are around grandchildren who are in their springtimes as our children transition into their summers.  The hair on our heads like the leaves on the trees might be starting to turn colors—white or gray, that is.  There are aches here, doctor appointments there. 

We have managed to launch our children (hopefully) and we see what characteristics good and bad we have advertently or inadvertently bequeathed upon them.  We are usually in a fairly comfortable place financially and may be engaging in harvesting our retirement fruits of the work planted in spring and nourished by the heat of summer.  We usually have figured life out and are fairly comfortable with what we have chosen or what we have been dealt, or both.  We simply have quite a few years under our belts (literally and figuratively) and we just know more than we did during those fallow and fun days of youth and those blistering hot days of responsibility and requirement.  Hopefully, we are wiser than we have been, if only because of what has happened to us.

Winter lies ahead.  It is when the cold of sickness, illness, loss of companionship, loss of mental acuity, and loss of endless opportunities rears its inevitable head.  It can be a time to be quite housebound.  It is a time of forgetfulness, of memories of events long ago but not what happened the previous day.  It is a time when the chill wind blows, emptying the trees of their leaves and killing many of the flowers of earlier times.  It leads to an inevitable time of death.

So here I am, transitioning into the autumn of my life.  Are the red “leaves” on my head turning gray?  Surprisingly, very little.  Do my bones ache in the morning?  Yes, they often do.  Do I have the energy that I used to have?  No, but as I attempt to stay active I find that I have enough (although I really like good naps that I rarely can take!).  Do I go to see doctors a little more routinely?  Yes, but that’s okay.  I am still as crazy and offbeat as I used to be?  Ask my children grandchildren.  Am I doing okay financially?  And retirement looms in the future and we look to have sufficient for our needs, the good Lord willing and the creek don’t rise. 

Am I comfortable with who I am?  That’s a loaded question, but overall, I am glad to answer affirmatively.  I am at peace with who I am.  As I tell many with whom I counsel and do therapy, I have given God my past because I can’t do anything about it.  Although I make plans for the colder days of fall and winter, I choose not to live in an anxiety-filled future either.  I am choosing to live in the here and now, and while I am not always successful in that endeavor, I feel a great serenity.  (Please read an earlier blog posting on the Serenity Prayer which I attempt to live by.) 

In this time of my life—this autumn of my life, I am really enjoying who I am!  I pray each day that God grants to me as many todays as possible because I am enjoying the one right now!