BIRTHDAY TRIBUTE TO JANEEN

Janeen and My Brother Tom at the Beach

          On the occasion of her 75^th birthday, I wanted to take some time to write about my favorite sister-in-law.  I want her and the world to know how I feel about her.  She is no ordinary woman.  And rather than talk about her to others at some future point when she is pushing up  

daisies, I want her to know now!

          Since she got married to my brother Tom when I was less than three years old, I do not know a world without Janeen.  She has been a constant in my own life and that of my wife and children, supportive and loving through thick and thin.  I want you to know Janeen, as best I can describe her from the many interactions I and my family have had with her through these many years.

          Janeen ‘s greatest attribute is her ability to love, regardless of whether someone is worthy or not of that love .  I would be willing to bet a lot of money that if one were to ask just about anyone who interacts with her, from her children, grand children, great grand children, to friends or even acquaintances, they would tell you that they feel that Janeen cares about them.  She involves herself in their lives, anxious to know how they’re doing, what is happening in their lives—and she does so, I believe, because of her amazing ability to love.  It doesn’t matter if you are not living in the way she thinks you should live (I’m thinking of when my oldest daughter Rebecca lived with her and Tom); she looks past what a person does and looks at the lovable person that they are.  It doesn’t matter if a person has caused her grief (I’m thinking about my mother whom Janeen took care of during the closing months of her life); she continues to love them. It doesn’t matter if you are mentally or emotionally afflicted (I’m thinking about her tireless work with that population in her school district); she loves them even more.  It doesn’t matter if a person has not been considerate of her feelings (I’m sure I’ve done that in the past as has Tom, her offspring and others); she will look past the hurt and love them.

          I can honestly say that of all of the people that I have known closely—family, friends, co-workers, fellow believers—Janeen is the most loving and caring of them all.  To me, she exemplifies to the greatest degree the kind of love that God has for his children.  If that seem like lofty hyperbole, I am not given to doing that, and the person challenging that statement has not felt of her love for them.

          She goes out of her way to show you that she cares.  One would be hard pressed to count all of the meals she has lovingly provided me and others in her home and elsewhere.  I cannot count all of the encouraging words that she has freely given me and mine through the years.  If ever you need her to do something, she will move heaven and earth to accomplish it.  If ever you need her to take care of somebody on your behalf, she is there 100%.  If ever you need a shoulder to cry on, she will offer you hers and shed tears with you.

From my psychologically trained perspective (for what that is worth), I believe that she is capable of  loving and caring and being available for others because she has such a healthy view of herself, accepting who she is, warts and all, so that her issues do not get in the way of her interactions with others.  In other words, she is able to give so much because her issues do not get in her way, thus allowing her to better focus on you.  Most other people, and I include myself in that group, are challenged to be so available to others because our inadequacies get in our way.  Perhaps she can focus on others because she really does understand her relationship to her God, and she understands that the most important thing that we can do here in mortality is to love.  Everything else is subordinate to loving people.

          Another amazing attribute of this amazing woman is her attitude.  I am sure she has moments when physical ailments press in on her, or she feels some level of discouragement, but she deals with them in private (I guess) and does whatever she can to help you be happy and grateful.  (My family and I will forever quote her famous refrain, “aren’t we lucky?)  She has an uncanny ability to cheer you up, probably because she does not take herself very seriously.  She really tries to enjoy life and will do all within her power to help you enjoy your life as well.

          I am so appreciative that she has loved my brother through good and bad, always at his side following him wherever he has gone, being his counterpoint.  I am 100% sure that among the great legacies she has given to her posterity is her undying love and support for Tom (even though like most wives there are times, I’m sure, when she would like to kick him off the dock at Bear Lake!)  How many wives would have cheerfully lived in Nigeria or lived in a tiny flat in England as she did?

 I just want to conclude by saying that she is one of the greatest examples that I have this side of heaven.  I feel very blessed that I have had the privilege to have her grace my life.  I cherish her love and caring.  I selfishly hope that she is blessed with a good many more years here in mortality so that I may yet feel of her love for me.  May God’s choicest blessings be upon you now and forever, Janeen!