I am always excited around the first week of April and the first week of October. Not only are they harbingers of spring and fall, but they are also times of LDS World General Conference. I am able to watch the broadcasts in the comfort of my home (sometimes too comfortable when the talks are not very interesting to me-zzzzzz) and often in my pajamas. I often refer to Conference as Pajama Church!
This past weekend was no different. I was excited to hear of three new temples--in Thailand, Ivory Coast, and Haiti. I always listen to callings and releases of Area Authority Seventies (my former Bishop/Stake President, Jerry Garns, will be released on May 1). I always participate in the sustaining of General Authorities, raising my hand when called upon by President Uchtdorf. I was not at all bothered my those few who verbally objected (although I am disappointed that they will not be interviewed by a General Authority as others have been in the past, but referred to their Stake President, who probably already knows about their objections.) I always listen intently to the statistics offered about the general Church. I listen intently to the inspirational singing of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and others. And of course, I enjoy listening to the talks.
As opposed to others who accept ALL of what they hear at Conference as God's will, I listen to the talks with an open mind and heart, but if I hear something that doesn't resonate with me, I will try to glean some "takeaways" from the rest of the talk. If it is particularly challenging to me, I will pray about it. Like others who have questions and harbor some doubts, I often find myself agreeing with some fundemental principles underlying a given talk. I appreciate the fact that these good brothers and sisters attempt to prepare their talks with inspiration, and in fact, in the days leading up to each Conference, I pray that they may be so inspired.
But alas, some of their words do not feel necessarily inspired, filtered through their own biases and filters. The burden is upon me the listener to feel inspiration and to pray for understanding and personal revelation to know if and how to apply their words in my life. I believe it is incumbent on all members of the Church to get a testimony of what is said at Conference (and for that matter, at all Church services), Accepting it all at face value seems almost like idol worship or/rock star worship, instead of worshipping Him, abrogating our responsibility to do what Joseph Smith did when after reading the verse in James 1:5 about asking God when we desire wisdom.
I always think of Brigham Young's statement in this regard:
"I am fearful that this people have so much confidence in their leaders that they will not inquire for themselves of God whether they are led by Him. I am fearful they settle down into a state of blind self-security, trusting their eternal destiny in the hands of their leaders with a reckless confidence that in itself would thwart the purposes of God in their salvation, and weaken the influence they could give to their leaders, did they know for themselves, by the revelations of Jesus, that they are led in the right way. Let every man know, themselves, whether their leaders are walking in the path the Lord dictates, or not." Journal of Discourses 9:150
It has been my experience that a couple of talks each Conference usually carry great weight with me and profoundly move me. Such was the case of the talks on Sunday morning of Elder Jeffrey Holland and of President Dieter Uchtdorf. I cannot wait to read them as they are published, feel the wonderful Spirit that I felt once again, and to make them mine. They represented talks given about the nature of Christ or the Father, and their unconditional love for me, and not talks about how I need to do more, offering me a check-off list of to-dos.
For those who watched that session, you may recall that Elder Holland's talk dealt with His atoning sacrifice. It was so meaningful to me, so nourishing to my spirit. In part of his talk, he stated:
"So today we celebrate the gift of victory over every fall we have ever experienced, every sorrow we have ever known, every discouragement we have ever had, every fear we have ever faced--to say nothing of our resurrection from death and forgiveness of our sins."
You may also remember President Uchtdorf's talk on grace--always a favorite subject of mine, as evidenced by the number of my blog postings on the subject, and by the words I often say to my Christian clients in psychotherapy. He mentioned in part of his remarks that:
"We cannot earn our way into heaven; the demands of justice stand as a barrier, which we are powerless to overcome on our own. But all is not lost. The grace of God is our great and everlasting hope.
I must admit to wondering if those who quoted or inferred doctrine from The Family: A Proclamation to the World, and the number of those who spoke of exclusive marriage between a man and a woman (a belief I am living) know that it was not given by revelation through the Prophet or any of the other 14 Brethren, but rather, it was written by a BYU professor, and accepted and embraced by the Brethren. I also admit to wondering how many Conference speakers (beside Elder Christofferson) have listened to experiences, often profoundly spiritual and filled with personal revelation, of LGBT Mormons. I wonder if they have any idea what it is like to be gay and LDS. I wonder if people listening to Elder Perry know that he quoted an article by David Brooks which applauded same-sex marriages on the grounds that they represent a voluntary relinquishing of personal freedom in favor of obligation and relationship. Proclamation virtues!
Some LGBT Mormons who listened to Conference are actually living all of the Church's standards or are in mixed-orientation marriages. Listening to the constant references made to the unique status of marriage between a man and a woman makes many of them turn off or tune out Conference. Or worse, they turn them off to, or tune them out of, attending Church services. They hear the relentless drone over pulpits. And by the way, do members of the Church really want LGBT people in their services? Does Christ want LGBT Mormons to listen/watch Conference and to attend weekly Church services? What would be His attitude and behavior toward His LGBT followers?
For those who may be put off by the last two paragraphs, I challenge you to get to know the stories of LGBT LDS brothers and sisters. Ask them what it was like to listen to Conference. If they haven't yet given up on the hurt they feel from Church leaders, and sometimes from family or ward members, ask why some of them continue to attend services, even after they may have been excommunicated.
Nevertheless, even with the sometimes puzzling or difficult experiences of this Conference, there were profound spiritual moments and experiences of testimony building, reassurance, comfort, and peace.
6 comments:
Bob, I appreciate your newfound sensitivity towards the LGBT community – BUT – (there it is! The big BUT! ;) ) I wonder where your sensitivity is for the child who was sexually molested by his or her priesthood bearing father – or beaten by a mentally ill mother - who has to endure singing “I am a Child of God – With Parents Kind and Dear.” ? Or your sensitivity towards those whose “Eternal families” were broken by divorce, or those who committed adultery, or those who fornicated, or those who are not mentally stable enough to fulfill a full time mission, or those who are not tithing worthy, etc, etc, etc. How should the Gospel be taught? Should the leaders not speak of current ‘hot topics’ for fear of causing sorrow? Do you think that if the Lord was to be the only speaker at every session of conference, He would avoid the topic of Eternal Marriage and the blessing and purpose of Eternal procreation? Oh, goodness…one only has to read whole Sermon on the Mount to know how probing the Savior would be in addressing us. While His love is infinite – He never compromised about truth. What would you have those who speak in Church about marriage – say about marriage instead of what they say?
Bob, I thought conference was awesome as well. Thanks for posting your thoughts. I to loved Elder Holland's talk, to date I have really felt like his talks speak deeply to me, although over the years I think Elder Uchtdorf is running a very close second.
I had two thoughts about your comments, first about the need for each of us to validate for ourselves the words spoken by the Lord’s authorized servants, and second regarding how the LGBT community may hear and interpret the words spoken in conference.
First I couldn’t agree with you more regarding the need to receive confirmation of the truth of the words spoken by anyone in the church. Moroni 10:5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things. What immediately came to my mind was a talk given by Elder Oaks, October 2010 in general conference titled “Two lines of communication”. He spoke very specifically of the need for each of us to use what he called the “Personal line” to receive revelation and confirmation of the truth.
“In the personal line we pray directly to our Heavenly Father, and He answers us by the channels He has established, without any mortal intermediary. We pray to our Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ, and He answers us through His Holy Spirit and in other ways. The mission of the Holy Ghost is to testify of the Father and the Son (see John 15:26; 2 Nephi 31:18; 3 Nephi 28:11), to guide us into truth (see John 14:26;16:13), and to show us all things we should do (see 2 Nephi 32:5). This personal line of communication with our Heavenly Father through His Holy Spirit is the source of our testimony of truth, of our knowledge, and of our personal guidance from a loving Heavenly Father. It is an essential feature of His marvelous gospel plan, which allows each one of His children to receive a personal witness of its truth.”
I love this idea that each of us is entitled to obtain guidance directly from our Heavenly Father, Elder Oaks goes further saying that we are required to do this in many matters.
In his description of the “Priesthood line” he clarifies the role of this line in defining doctrine and governing and administering the church, which could be a topic for an interesting discussion at a later date.
The second item regarding how the LGBT community may hear and interpret the conference messages, and although I cant comment directly on that I tried to find something in myself where I might be able to relate to your point. I think I found it.
During conference I have to admit that at times I feel a number of things, sometimes its joy, hope and peace as I hear the words and feel the Holy Ghost bear witness of the truth of the words, definitely as I heard Elder Uchtdorf speak of the grace of God this was the case. Other times I can feel pricked and even defensive when I hear of pride, selfishness and doing our duty in all of its various forms. As I thought about why I may feel this way, perhaps it is because I am a natural man, and as we know the “natural man is an enemy to God and has been from the beginning”. This is the state into which I was born it takes effort and yielding to the spirit to change my defensiveness to humility, which allows the word to fall into soil where it can grow. I wonder, and again I don’t know, if the thought that this is who I am, this natural man is my default state, is similar to what the LGBT community feels. Each of us must look to God for direction as to how we should live our lives, how we must change. Again, I don’t know what it is like to be anyone but me, but I do believe that each of us is blessed as we come unto Christ in any way, overcoming our natural tendencies, making any effort results in our feeling His love acceptance and grace.
Tom,
I appreciate that you take time to read and even comment on my posts. Your responses are well thought out and meaningful.
I appreciated your attempt to relate to the LGBT experience. I like you am heterosexual. I have felt the dissonance the LDS LGBT feel in my role as an ally, as I/we attempt to reconcile who we are with the teachings heard over the pulpit. I do not know what it is like to feel depressed, hopeless, ridiculed, or isolated as a result of that dissonance. I don't know what it is like to be made homeless by parents and shunned by loved ones because of something that I have asked Heavenly Father to remove from me, and He hasn't. I don't know what it's like to feel so hopeless that I want to commit suicide. I don't know what it's like when the love I genuiinely feel for my partner and possible, our children, is called "counterfeit." But I do know that it hurts them/me, not from guilt, but from feeling like a second class citizen in the Kingdom as we/I listen to some in Church leadership.
I liked Elder Cristofferson's talk. He talked about the nature of families, without making us/me feel less than. But then, he has a gay, married, self-excommunicated brother who loves the Church and loves God.
I always am grateful for your responses to my blog. I appreciate people who take the time to read it.
You can ask your brother Sean about my sensitivity to challenging familial situations involving people who reject what the Brethren have to say about the family. In my work as a marriage and family therapist and who specializes in addictions, I see first hand nearly every day what happens when people become selfish, or they surrender to their impulses, or when they choose not to follow His plan for happiness.
The Gospel should be taught as the standard we should all strive to achieve. The leadership needs to talk about "hot topics" to be relevant and to declare the standard. The topic of eternal marriage and eternal procreation can and should be spoken of, but not by calling relationships that are not the standard "counterfeit," as Elder Perry did (and Elder Christofferson didn't, whose brother is gay, active, and who asked to be excommunicated). Jesus would not call those relationships "counterfeit," in my opinion. He ate with the publicans, tax collectors, and sinners.
What would you say to Tom Christofferson and his gay husband? How would Christ address them in General Conference? By calling Tom to repentance multiple times? Is his love any more "counterfeit" than your love for Preston? What is truth?
As I stated in my blog, I believe that those who are asked to speak in Conference seek the Spirit and endeavor to say what the Lord would have them say. I believe that the standard needs to be stated--and we who are LGBT and are Allies (that's me) get that.
But we are hopeful that Church leadership (and Church membership) can be much more loving, much more inclusive, much less judgmental than they are right now. We were hopeful that because of mormonsandgays.org and because of recent changes about LGBT discrimination in Utah, that the rhetoric would moderate somewhat.
In most cases, being LGBT is not about a choice--they don't choose to be the way they are. So if they didn't choose to be LGBT, and have likely prayed at some point to have it removed from them, what does a leader say? Sorry, you're "counterfeit." Sorry, everything about your ability to romantically love someone is "counterfeit," and you have but two options because you are messed up: you must get married to someone of the opposite gender (which statistically results in over 80% divorce, and which the Church says is not raason to get married to the opposite gender), or, you must remain celibate because you are flawed, and tough luck with that. You get to miss out on the bliss of a loving spousal relationship and all of the things you can develop and Heavenly Father would have you develop, in your character as a result. You get to feel uncomfortable every time you sit in a family oriented Church meeting, and hear about marriage between a man and a woman that will never happen to you in this life.
What would your life be like if you'd never had the chance to marry that wonderful man of yours, to never have had your children and grandchildren? All because you are counterfeit!
Why does the Church exist? To me, the Church exists to teach Exaltation in the Kingdom of God, and to give those who desire to attempt it, a place to receive the ordinances Heavenly Father requires. Baptism, Endowment, Temple Sealing. Our LGBT friends are living a life outside of the standards the Lord has set for those who wish to participate in those ordinances. It is NOT an act of kindness to pretend that they are not or to water it down to make it palatable. I fail to see what you wish the Church to do. No matter how it is said - those who become sexually involved with members of the same sex are excluded from moving forward in the plan of Exaltation. This is not something the Church can negotiate with God. These are His laws, His truths. He is the one who has made it clear that in order to become like Him, we need to be sealed in pro-creating partnerships - that will continue for Eternity. This is His immortal existence, and one which He recommends for our ultimate happiness and fulfillment. How far each of us takes that is up to us, regardless of our mortal challenges, and that includes sexual attraction. It really is up to the individual to turn to the Lord and let Him work the Gift of the Atonement in their hearts. To our friends who need to follow their hearts and live outside of what Heavenly Father has promised will bring us the ultimate joy - that is their path to navigate with the guidance of their Heavenly Father - though it will not put them on the path He created the Church to support. Not all paths lead to the Celestial Kingdom - but there are many mansions and Kingdoms in the Heavens. They say to two biggest surprises? Who will be in the Celestial Kingdom, and who will not... :)
You give me such Strength! I am sick of the lack of spirituality that exists. Your church needs to be reformed, it has long since range withdrawn itself from the true teachings. The amount of blindness in the members is unbelievable. You bring such to light. I like your quote from B Young, these are just men who claim they talk to God. I admire the way you deal with your sexual attractions and still speak of commitment to your wife and church. I hope you can lead more to the truth.
Post a Comment