I'm Almost 60?

I am fast approaching my 60th birthday on June 4th.  I am not sure how I will feel about this event.  I write on this blog not only as an historical document, but also as a way to process. I am sure someone will surely ask, "how does it feel to be 60?"  I will likely ask for clarification.  In what regard? Physically? Emotionally? That I am ready for the bone heap?

 I remember thinking in the distant past that 60 was the onset of "old age."  On one hand, when my parents were 60, they did seem old and were really seeming to slow down.  I had just gotten married and had given them the first of my contributions to their bulging grandchildren pool.  They seemed old like grandparents should seem.

On the other hand, my brother and sister whizzed past 60 and seemed full of energy and full of life.  My sis and her husband are well into their 70s and my bro and sister-in-law are approaching their 80s, and while they are finally starting to slow down, they're not slowing down very much.  They seem to be my most reliable indicators of what it is like to be aging gracefully and with much energy and gusto.

Physically, I will admit to occasionally waking up with some aches and pains (my back sure is stiff this morning).  I will admit to experiencing deteriorating eyesight and hearing (what?).  I will admit to lapses in memory at times (why did I come into this room?). I will admit to saggy flesh and less than toned body parts (Davis jowls).  I will admit to poorer handwriting (my hand starts hurting quickly).  I will admit to not needing as much sleep (who needs 8 hours?).  I will admit that my singing voice has more vibrato to it (the red-headed California warbler).  I will also admit to not as much neediness, if you know what I mean.

But I can still hike strongly and with vigor.  I can walk and run as much as I want to.  I still have all of my teeth and a thick head of red hair.  I can move furniture and boxes and work in the garden as well as I ever have.  Dancing with my sweetheart is no problem.  And I can borrow a lyric from the Broadway musical 1776. 

Emotionally I feel that I understand myself and the world around me moreso now than I ever have.  I feel that I have worked long and hard on eliminating my unresolved childhood issues, and I am experiencing great benefits as a result.  I feel that I have been learning from life experiences and am harvesting the lessons.  I feel much wiser than I did just a few years ago (whether I am actually wiser is arguable).  I feel more contented than I have ever felt.

I still feel emotinally like a child at times, and if you were to ask my wife, she might tell you that I sometimes act like one.  I have no problem interacting with my six grandchildren in person or on Skype, or being as silly as they can be.  Why I still retain many memories from my childhood!

It feels odd to admit to myself that I am on the cusp of retirement.  There are people my age who do not work for a living anymore.  It still seems at times like I am talking about someone else, someone much older, as I discuss retirement issues with our financial advisor.  At this moment, I don't see me working indefinitely.  Heck, I have been working since my first job at age 14.  I see myself working if I want, perhaps easing into retirement, but staying physically and intellectually active.  I see me being able to retire fairly comfortably from a financial point of view, barring unforseen negative circumstances.

 I will admit that having three of my four children in their 30s does make me feel old.  Never mind that I am a grandpa six times over.  It just seems like I was in my 30s, like it was just a few years back.  Where did the time go?

So how does it feel to be 60 years old?  A mixed bag, I suppose.  I am very excited about my future.  I have so much more of life to live, so many experiences to have, so many people and places I want to know, and I hope God grants me many more years.  I don't feel young, but I don't feel old!