My wife had traveled to Brooklyn, New York, some three weeks before the planned "c-section" to help Emily in the last stages of her pregnancy. I went to help out a couple of weeks after their births which came off without a glitch, all three near 6 lbs., and all healthy. We went from the Pacific Coast to the Atlantic Coast because there was only Adam's mother and little sister in the area, some five hours or so north in upstate New York. Adam and Emily had moved east from Utah after both of them had graduated from Brigham Young University where they had met. He worked at the time and still works for a large international book publisher based in Manhattan, and as such were living some miles away in a second story, 700 square foot apartment.
They quickly outgrew this two-bedroom apartment with no air conditioning, dishwasher, washer or dryer, parking, or elevator to get the newborns from the second floor to the first floor. If Adam wasn't there because of work, it was a major production for Emily to get four kids down to the first floor, much less to get them to their mini-van they had been forced to buy which was parked where ever they could finagle a parking spot. They fashioned a special stroller/wagon that allowed older sister Elizabeth to stand to the rear while the three babies sat in front of her. They hired a mother's helper after the church members finally stopped helping, allowing Emily to go to the laundromat, go grocery shopping, or do a chore.
In those early days, life was a perpetual round of diaper changing (approximately 6 changes X 3 kids per day), bottles (about that many also), sleep deprivation, and just trying to cope with everyday challenges. That grind continued for well over a year, including two months when they came to California for Christmas and stayed. (For a taste of this insanity, please read my posting of "Eddie's 24-Hour Diary,") Through it all, Emily and Adam managed to keep their physical and mental health, coping with incredible challenges that would exhaust less committed parents.
They needed to move, and did so when the triplets were a few months short of the age of two. It was a nice rented home in Rutherford, New Jersey, which made their lives easier--but not easy. It had off-street parking, a fenced side yard with grass, dishwasher, washer and dryer, a nice kitchen, and space to run around in. It was a little bit farther for Adam to commute to Midtown Manhattan, but it was well worth the additional time. During these better days, Emily managed to toilet train the triplets all at once, no small feat by any stretch. She and Adam also got them into the routine of family time together, family prayer and scripture time -- such as it was, weekly church attendance, setting the table for the kids, among others.
Their local church congregations had proved to be a godsend because of the young couples that also attended with similar-aged children. Emily particularly made some good friends that made her life somewhat more bearable. Adam faithfully fielded calls at work when Emily needed him, and after work hit the ground running when he arrived home, changing diapers, bathing kids, occasionally cooking, and always doing the dishwashing chore. Adam asked for received a sizable raise to better support his family of six, but without a second income, their wants and needs were always modest.
Regrettably, the woman who had rented out this nice home in a nice New Jersey suburb decided that she wanted to re-occupy the home, and gave them just a short time to vacate and find a new place. As they have done all along in their capacities as parents, they put their game faces on and found another place to rent. This place, some 15 or so minutes away from the previous place (but not much longer of a commute into the City for Adam), was not as nice with as many amenities. It is at this three-story, four-bedroom lodging where I find myself at this Christmas season.
The older sister is five but missed the kindergarten age cutoff by less than a month and as such is home much of the daytime. The triplets are three years old. All four children are all incredibly strong willed. All four children are all talkative and full of energy. All four children behave as children do at their age, playing, roughhousing, fighting, sometimes refusing to eat, needing their bottoms wiped, wanting their own ways, crying and sometimes screaming, and testing Adam and Emily's parenting skills to the extreme. Their home is in perpetual entropy, and it is all Emily and Adam can do to keep up with the kids and keep the house somewhat organized (which they do a great job in accomplishing). Imagine being a stay-at-home mother of these four children five years of age and younger. Pure daily exhaustion!
So at this moment, the din of the day has subsided. My wife and Emily are wrapping the last of the Christmas presents, the live Christmas tree is sparkling in the reflection of the window that has lights around it, and our energies are spent having kept the home fires burning (and having taken the four energy packets to see Santa Claus at the library), I wanted share with my blog readers the difficult life these two have, and to pay tribute to my wonderful daughter and her wonderful husband. I simply could not do what they do day in and day out, much less when I was their age. I am amazed that these two thirty-somethings have the patience to deal with such energetic children. And while neither of them would say that they are doing a great job as parents, or as spouses (the pressure that the kids put on their marriage is indescribable), they are managing well enough. I would challenge any couple to deal with the non-stop challenges that this little family of six experiences every day.
I am SO PROUD of these two kids. I love this little New Jersey family.
1 comment:
If a Davis had to have triplets, I'm glad it was Emily. Can you imagine me or Robert or Doug surviving even a month?! Me either. The Johnsons are amazing.
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